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Managing Unhappy Relatives During the Holiday Season

Keep in mind that there are no quick fixes (and certainly not in time for Thanksgiving this year). It generally takes at least a month of taking medication to make a difference and many more months of psychotherapy to learn how to handle depression and prevent it from dominating one’s life. But even knowing that someone has begun treatment can help both that individual and the family. There’s some comfort to be found it knowing that someone is finally doing something about the problem.

Tips for Managing Unhappy or Depressed Relatives

Regardless of whether an unhappy or depressed relative is in treatment, he or she can still make the day less than enjoyable for everyone else. Here are some tried and true ideas for preventing one person’s negativity from ruining everyone else’s day:

  • Find compassion within yourself for this person. 
    After all, here is someone who is partaking of the emotional feast that holidays offer and is still starving for compassionate attention. Do offer your heartfelt sympathy. Don’t get into an argument about whether the person really has things to be thankful for—it’s pointless. Even if he or she can acknowledge the truth of it, it won’t help him or her feel any better—and, pretty soon, you’re in an argument!
  • Strategize ahead of time.
    It’s not new information that so-and-so is critical and impossible. Think about ways you can excuse yourself from the situation when you need a breather. (There’s always the bathroom.)Talk to other family members about taking turns being the ear for the difficult relative. (It’s unfair to let anyone bear the brunt of it for a whole day.) Arrange ahead of time to have a distraction or two available. How about a new jigsaw puzzle to work on or new board game for everyone to play while waiting for dinner? How about a family-friendly video?
  • It’s hard to be active and depressed.
    Organize a hike or a walk after dinner. Touch football, raking the leaves, or tumbling with little kids is incompatible with the blues. Exercise releases endorphins, the natural antidote to depression.

Click here to read more from psychcentral.com -> 

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Zakat eligibility of The FYI

The Family & Youth Institute, or The FYI, is a well-known Muslim organization in the United States. It works to promote mental health and wellness by strengthening and empowering individuals, families, and communities through research and education. It has been working for many years to bring Islamic perspectives to understanding and promoting mental health in our communities.

It is dedicated to serving and supporting Muslims – safeguarding our deen, our families, and our future generations. Therefore, the work of The FYI comes in the category of ‘fi sabeelillah’ or the Path of Allah, within the eight categories where Zakat money can be used.

Zakah expenditures are only for the poor and for the needy and for those employed for it and for bringing hearts together [for Islam] and for freeing captives [or slaves] and for those in debt and for the cause of Allah, and for the [stranded] traveler – an obligation [imposed] by Allah, And Allah, is Knowing and Wise.”
(Al-Tawbah 9:60)

According to scholars who widen the meaning of fee sabeelillah to include any activities that promote Islamic growth, The FYI is indeed eligible to receive part of the Zakat funds for its programs and services. I urge Muslims in America to support this organization through their donations, general charity, and through their Zakat. I ask Allah swt to strengthen and guide The FYI to continue its good work in supporting Muslims.

Shaikh Ali Suleiman Ali, PhD

About Shaikh Ali

Sh. Ali Suleiman Ali was born in Ghana where he spent his childhood studying with various Muslim scholars. He then moved to Saudi Arabia and enrolled in the Islamic University of Madina.  He graduated with a degree in both Arabic and Islamic Studies. Dr. Ali went on to complete his Ph.D. in Islamic Studies at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor.

Sh. Ali serves on the Advisory Council of The Family & Youth Institute. He is the Senior Imam and Director of the Muslim Community of Western Suburbs in Canton, Michigan. Additionally, he serves as the Director of Muslim Family Services in Detroit and is a council member of the Fiqh Council of North America (FCNA). He is also a member of the North American Imams Federation (NAIF) and the Association of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA).