The WAY we talk to our kids has a huge impact on their learning and ability to listen to us. We are constantly modeling to our kids how to act and behave and the way we talk to them fits right into this category. The way we speak to them and those around us is showing them how we want them to speak back to us. I have found that there are generally three different ways that parents communicate with their kids. The first one is in an aggressive way. These parents yell a lot, put their kids down and use attacking words. Their children respond in many different ways, mainly by playing up a lot more, feeling fearful, yelling back and ignoring their parents’ constant orders.
The second form of communication commonly seen is a passive form. These parents mutter soft, cautious words and tones to their kids finding that they run riot and walk all over them. Unfortunately these parents are so passive that sometimes when they are pushed to their limits, they suddenly turn their communication into an aggressive tone. Lastly the third way that parents can communicate with their kids is in an assertive way. This is what I have found to be by far the most effective way to communicate with kids at all levels. An assertive way of communicating is firm, consistent, clear, positive, warm and confident. Communicating with kids in an assertive way is a real skill yet it shows your kids that mum and dad know what they’re going on about and to listen.
