Marriage, by its very definition, is the joining of two separate lives into one unified family. Two become one on a spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical level. God designed it this way. So, how is it that some people find themselves in a lonely marriage? It all begins with one or both partners believing a BIG lie.
We live in a society that applauds independence and the notion of achieving success all by ourselves. We are often groomed to do whatever it takes to protect ourselves because “no one else will”. Being independent and self-sufficient is certainly not a bad thing in and of itself, but it can lead to a lonely existence when we pursue it above all else (and many times we do). In a world where half of marriages end in divorce, we are taught to have one foot in the door and one foot out the door just to be ready in case our marriage fails. Some even have prenups, secret bank accounts, or money stashes in preparation for the day they may decide to divorce their spouse. What is the common denominator in all of these things?
It is the belief that we don’t NEED each other…that we can and should live our lives as if we were never married. It is a BIG LIE that sends husbands and wives into a lonely marital existence for years, and some even decide to call it quits.
So, what does a lonely marriage look like? It is two married people living very disconnected lives. Each spouse is highly engaged in his or her work during the day and doesn’t choose to involve his or her spouse in the workplace functions. There are no sweet texts or phone calls to connect with each other during the day. When they get home at night, both spouses are hyper-focused on the kids and all of their needs.