The pursue-withdraw pattern is an extremely common cause of divorce. If left unresolved, it will continue into a second marriage and subsequent intimate relationships. As Dr. Gottman explains in Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, “This classical marital impasse is all too common—a wife seeking emotional connection from a withdrawn husband.”

How do couples fall into a pursue-withdraw pattern, and why are men usually the ones that withdraw? How can couples break this destructive pattern for good?

To find out, we spoke to Scott R. Woolley, Ph.D., a professor at Alliant International University in San Diego, California. He is a Founder and Director of the San Diego Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Training and Research Institute for Emotionally Focused Therapy at Alliant.

Click here to read more from Gottman.com

Breaking the Pursue-Withdraw Pattern
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