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Red Flags of Child Predators

Keeping kids safe from sexual abuse is not a black and white issue. Even experts on the issue who have interviewed convicted child molesters remark on how “likable” they appear. It’s the grey area where most exist- predators that come off as “good” and charismatic “every day” kinds of people.

Keep in mind, sexual abuse is often not about sex, but about control and dominance. Sex, is often, merely an outlet that offenders are using to fill a perceived need. And it is difficult when no two abusers look, talk, or act the same.

Seeing one of these Red Flags does not mean that you are in the presence of a sexual abuser – but if your instinct is feeling something is off – listen, observe, and minimize this person’s access to children – especially in a 1:1 situation, which is the case for an estimated 80% of all child sexual abuse.


Strangers and acquaintances

You may not necessarily know these people very well, or only by name/face alone (a neighbor, a coach, a parent of another child you know). In order to gain access to your child, they usually try to establish a rapport with the parent as well as the child, but in some cases, they are less careful about hiding their intentions. Be cautious for the following behaviors/characteristics:  

  • Volunteers or works with children but does not have children of their own, or child friendly toys – video games, tree house, train sets/doll collections etc
  • Spends more time with children than adults or peers – may even come off as immature and childish themselves
  • Has a “favorite” child they seem to spend time with (which may vary from year to year)
  • Gives gifts or special privileges for no apparent reason
  • Overly affectionate/playful with children – hugging, tickling, wrestling, holding or having a child sit on their lap
  • Disregards “no” “stop” or other efforts from a child to avoid physical contact
  • Long stares or periods of watching a child

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Zakat eligibility of The FYI

The Family & Youth Institute, or The FYI, is a well-known Muslim organization in the United States. It works to promote mental health and wellness by strengthening and empowering individuals, families, and communities through research and education. It has been working for many years to bring Islamic perspectives to understanding and promoting mental health in our communities.

It is dedicated to serving and supporting Muslims – safeguarding our deen, our families, and our future generations. Therefore, the work of The FYI comes in the category of ‘fi sabeelillah’ or the Path of Allah, within the eight categories where Zakat money can be used.

Zakah expenditures are only for the poor and for the needy and for those employed for it and for bringing hearts together [for Islam] and for freeing captives [or slaves] and for those in debt and for the cause of Allah, and for the [stranded] traveler – an obligation [imposed] by Allah, And Allah, is Knowing and Wise.”
(Al-Tawbah 9:60)

According to scholars who widen the meaning of fee sabeelillah to include any activities that promote Islamic growth, The FYI is indeed eligible to receive part of the Zakat funds for its programs and services. I urge Muslims in America to support this organization through their donations, general charity, and through their Zakat. I ask Allah swt to strengthen and guide The FYI to continue its good work in supporting Muslims.

Shaikh Ali Suleiman Ali, PhD

About Shaikh Ali

Sh. Ali Suleiman Ali was born in Ghana where he spent his childhood studying with various Muslim scholars. He then moved to Saudi Arabia and enrolled in the Islamic University of Madina.  He graduated with a degree in both Arabic and Islamic Studies. Dr. Ali went on to complete his Ph.D. in Islamic Studies at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor.

Sh. Ali serves on the Advisory Council of The Family & Youth Institute. He is the Senior Imam and Director of the Muslim Community of Western Suburbs in Canton, Michigan. Additionally, he serves as the Director of Muslim Family Services in Detroit and is a council member of the Fiqh Council of North America (FCNA). He is also a member of the North American Imams Federation (NAIF) and the Association of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA).