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So, you’ve survived the wedding planning process, made it through the big day, dodged every curve ball life has thrown at you and now you can finally relax and enjoy the married life, right?

Well, according to a variety of sources and experts, you may have a few more surprises in store. In a recent Huffington Post article, marriage and family therapist Winifred M. Reilly described some of her own marital experiences and things she wishes she’d known as a newlywed.

“Most of us step into marriage hoping for a lifetime of love and happiness, knowing far too little about what might give us our best shot at getting there. Many of us assume that because we’re in love, because we have common values and compatible dreams, we’ve got everything we need to have a marriage that lasts.”

Newlyweds may feel like they’ve got this marriage thing all figured out, but these five things may come as a surprise to newly married couples.

Fairness is a very fluid concept

Reilly reminds us that life isn’t fair and neither is marriage. She notes that the idea of a perfect 50/50 compromise every day is a novel idea but is rather unattainable in a real marriage.

“Who wants a life of constant ledgering, keeping track of who did that when and who owes whom? Why does it matter that it was you who last called the babysitter and that it was *he *who left the dirty pot in the sink?” says Reilly.

Instead, she offers a different method: “Strive to be generous.” By offering support and letting some things slide, she finds that couples end up focusing more on what they put into the marriage and less on what they get out of it.

Continue reading…

Secrets to Surviving your First Year of Marriage
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