When a reaction is bigger than the situation, it’s probably a trigger. The intensity of emotion indicates that something more important is happening. What causes an argument is an assumption that the other person doesn’t care about what you needed.
Recently when we had a heart-to-heart, my wife confided in me that in her twenties she felt there was something not quite right… with her preaching. Something she could not identify. But fifteen years onward she knows what it is.